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Nick Neidermeyer: Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? I'm Stefan sweet thing. We'll start with a common Korean phrase. [Notices Maxine & Laura left the living room] Well, I thought it was a good story. You can do it! Steve Urkel: Oh no! Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, they applauded when we left. Carl Otis Winslow: Steve, The real Psycho Twins would have still been in the ring wrestling, If It wasn't for Your stupid sleepy juice. Laura Lee Winslow: First you better sprout a chest. [goes to the refrigerator] No root beer? Steve Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? Carl: Stefan, you gotta help me. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What kind of plans? Steve Urkel: But, I've been practicing and my progress is impressive, even if I do say so myself. "Tomorrow Dad!" Carl Otis Winslow: [after bringing Eddie home from jail] Now Edward, stop looking around for Steve. And, he's got something that he didn't have before. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Next Saturday. [the oven explodes from the kitchen and Waldo emerges], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I think we're gonna need a new stove and a floor to put it on. I couldn't turn right around and refuse to go out with him. You're a fine man.You'll be spending the month of May in your room, but you're a fine young man. Waldo, you may go now. [reading] "Mongu! Harriette: [Reading] Swiss Family Robinson! Isn't that sad? A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. Seems I'm having all the luck. Maxine Johnson: It happens every year the day of the prom. Carl Otis Winslow: Well is she still crying? Laura: Steve, you're supposed to cook those! Harriette: I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a home economics class. You know that in Kenya, "Urkel" means "a benign cyst on the foreleg of a wildebeest"? Harriette Winslow: I simply put out his cigar. That's the last time I do anything for anybody in this house. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. No. Bye! You're so beautiful, you take their breath away. [He and his partner grabs Willie and Waldo]. There's no one I wanna say no to more than you. I"m going to the mall to hand out gifts to orphans kids. Harriette Winslow: And I always mark the year, you gave it to me. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well hold on there big guy, listen to this. Curtis: My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral, Laura: Can you wait a day, of course you can't. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait just a minute here, Mr.McClure. [steps on the gas]. Stefan Urkelle: Not I know that's not Carl. Rachel Crawford: Right. Harriette Winslow: And you agree with me? An illustration of a person's head and chest. [Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the last one]. Never snort with a hangover! People stopped and starred, called me names, and some even spit at me. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Make one, then Xerox It! Well, why didn't you tell me? I got a nosebleed at birth. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I know that I'm not worthy of you, but I just can't help loving you. I'm cooking breakfast. I think I'm gonna have to fire Waldo, Steve. Estelle Winslow: Your great grandfather's name was Lester. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Chuck is twice the man Raoul is. Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? It meant a lot to me. I'm in big trouble! [after Carl comes out of the busted transformation chamber in an Urkel like fashion, due to Myra's tampering]. You have the right to have an attorney present. Carl: [after kicking Steve out of the house] And don't you ever come back! All kids 7 and up go to Eddie's room and play Nintendo. Laura Lee Winslow: Did you get any sleep? Waldo: Just the stuff Steve told me to say. And we practiced for six minutes! I rushed her to the emergency room and the doctor said she has walking pneumonia. I can't! Read the card, read the card. Steve Urkel: Uh, Eddie, is this a bad time? [Puts his jacket on and heads to the Door], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! Ms. Steuben: I know, Steven. Eddie: I don't see what getting beat up is gonna prove. I'm going to give you an 'A'. [does Steve's laugh and snort]. Harriette Winslow: [Rachel carries on about how sad it is Aunt Clotilda died] She was 94 years old. Harriette Winslow: [while trying to calm an apprehensive Rachel about leaving Richie overnight with the babysitter for the first time] Rachel, I know it's hard leaving your baby for the first time, but after that it gets a lot easier. Laura: Where did you get the money for this? All these people think the party is tonight. I love my Army. What did you do? When are you going to the store? Come here. He is portrayed by Jaleel White. That's one for the books! Ouchith! She just slipped and I caught her. White . Judy Winslow: Mom, when's dinner? Oh, yes it is! I wish I'd never done it. In the latter half of Family Matters, Steve started staying with the Winslows as his parents didn't want him around. Steve Urkel: Hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, oh look, it's Laura! Alright. Have you taken leave of your senses? Steve Urkel: L-long enough to get i-icicles on my nose hair Look! Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: Fuffner, I've heard of some low things in my time, but forcing Laura to go to the dance with me is plain dispicable. "Tomorrow, Dad!" Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Steve Urkel: No, I AM a serious little nerd. I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. [Rachel walks into the living room with Richie's broken penguin beak, coutesy of a jealous Judy]. Steve Urkel: Well, what if you trip or something? They're disgusting. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. Steve Urkel. Carl Otis Winslow: I didn't bring my gun. Laura Lee Winslow: Nope, this is Black History Month. Got anything in the fridge? Eddie: I meant, I haven't seen her today. [finds a note hanging on the door] Oh my God. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Ok, you talked me into it. Laura Lee Winslow: Sure. Steve Urkel: What? Eddie: Isn't there somebody else you could annoy? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I'm flat broke, dad. [just got lemon tart filling thrown at him]. "Nubbles Sucks Face with Nerd!". Excuse me Waldo, is there something written on your arm? [faints]. Come here, let me give you some sugar. There is no Steve here. Would you like that? No. [Laura walks in the door dressed up in a stereotypical nerd fashion. The rest of the rules are covered in this contract. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. But, you're a teacher, Ms. Steuben, and a daaarrn good one. Eddie: As a starting forward of the school team, it's my duty to play round ball not nerd ball. And the reason it hurts is because I've tried very hard to be your friend and all you've done is take advantage of me. Carl Otis Winslow: There was an E.Coli scale in the chocolate and I tasted a few to make sure the box was safe. Carl: I sure hope so because I'm wearing his underwear. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. Carl: [Urkel Voice] In the meantime, I have to break the news to Harriette. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: Then how 'bout a nice juicy thigh? What about it, Steve. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Hey, cut me some slack. Steve Urkel: But, I told you. Why she is woman, hear me roar. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I was thinking you could help me during the test. Fortunately, when I was young I had no friends. This has never happened before. What is the value of X? [Stefan tries to stop the chamber and the chamber ends up being busted. Laura Lee Winslow: That you'll never go into outer space again. So, is it all right with you? Rachel Crawford: Little Richie spoke his first word. Waldo Faldo: Be careful he has another one. Then he unfolds it] Well Tell me again. It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any paper work. Steve Urkel: Don't panic, my love! Right now we're going to have a wedding, but directly after that we're going to have a funeral. Would you rather be buried or cremated? Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. Steve Urkel: Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. I'm sorry, call you next week? Steve Urkel: Well, I didn't have one. Laura: Wait a second. I offered you my heart and you stomped that sucker flat! Harriette: Come on, sweetie, let's get you home and then I can put some antiseptic on those cuts. Carl Otis Winslow: [Grabs his wallet] How much do you need? [Greg leaves as Willie walks in with Waldo and the crowd boos him. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wrong, cummerbund breath. Carl: Maybe I should laugh a little bit more, huh? All we had to do was drop some dead guy off at the graveyard. Harriette Winslow: Oh lord. Curtis Williams: I'm Curtis Williams. Would you reward me with a kiss? Don't they teach Black History at your school? Raoul is the new produce manager. Waldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel! Look, Steve. . Steve Urkel: It wasn't that play that cost you the championship. Steve Urkel: I've never tried out for athletics before and the equipment list says that every guy should wear a cup. Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, when I was about your age, I LOVED to read, just like you. Steve Urkel: Sh-she touched me, Carl! Laura: Well, then not even in your dreams. You're wrong, the maitre'd gave me a two for one coupon. Alexandre Dumas was black. Steve Urkel: I will not be bullied! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah, well you have to get rid of them. Steve Urkel: [opens the back door] Surprise. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait Wait. Mucus comes in so many colors. And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. No one's ever called you 'shrimp'. Right now you have over a 100 crazed teenagers in your backyard ready to boogie. Does that about cover it? Carl Otis Winslow: Hello. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: That's hotties, Steve. steve urkel pick up linesaiken county sc register of deeds steve urkel pick up lines I met Raoul. Weasel: [pulls out a lot of cash from his pockets] Look at this $1500 dead presidents and the homies are still coming in. Aunt Oona: The gas pipe broke when my living room flooded. Steve Urkel: I have to tell you, Mr. Winslow. [Comes in the lving room with Mother Winslow as Eddie is taking his frustrations out on his sack of dirty laundry because Carl has just taken Waldo to the Chicago Bulls game instead of him]. He breaks something a beaker along the way]. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. The hot chocolate will be ready soon. Carl Otis Winslow: You know son, if Screwing Up ever became an Olympic event. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Steve as Stefan] Steve? Steve Urkel: I can't! Harriette Winslow: You most certainly do. I wanna take it home and read it to my mom. Rachel Crawford: Thanks Steve. I'm playing Boyd double or nothing. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yes, those were very confusing times. You know, I was exposed to this sort of thing when I was growing up, but I always hoped it would be different for my kids. So, if I tell him I don't remember him, I'll look like a jerk and I still won't remember him. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [nervous laughter] Great Wedding, huh dad. You know uh, Laura doesn't have a date for the prom either. Laura Lee Winslow: Rachel Crawfish, you got me, and I like the St. Louis Cardinals. Curtis: I know you're disappointed. [the half nerd side of Carl goes into the anatomy of worms. But I have feelings, too. Oh, gentle Romeo, if thou doth love, pronounce it faithfully.